The Campylobacter Hyperbole

I am not sure I can stomach another dribbling germ bag sneezing on, and in, the salad bar. All the amoebas and Gram-negative bacteria in their mucus is obviously insurmountable. It is equal to a Komodo Dragon slobbering on the romaine and hobbling away or a gaggle of slugs eating up half of the shredded carrots and slithering away after stopping by the Thousand Island dressing for a swim. Covid, Swine Flu, Bird Flu, Botulism will be old news. These germ carriers are harvesting novel mutant variants in their cerebral spinal fluid to dispense during this exact senior citizen discount hour at this precise restaurant. It’s bad enough these contamination carriers are jumping up and down on their seats, taking bites out of the cushions, and playing tag in the aisleway. They are patient zero for the newest foodborne pathogen. The only problem is I can’t identify which of the hordes of disease champions is patient zero. I am glad I am wearing a mask and that I am up on my tetanus shot[s]. If only I brought a Super Soaker filled with Lysol and bleach, we would all be safer. Until then, take this cry for help to heart because one day this mobile mob of volatile variants might be at the restaurant you frequent. Be always aware of your surroundings and stay safe my friend.

Chemtrails with a Chance of Sunshine

Control the weather / rewire our nature.

Science will save / protect our future.

What could go wrong? Why be upset?

Enjoy that ammonium dioxide sunset.

Yes, that beautiful purple / fuchsia veneer!

Designed / painted by competent engineers!

The chem-stream washes into our lungs and skin.

Now we need more lotion and medicine.

All while we’re told to consume clean

food / water / air. But don’t despair,

Science is working on that.