Zaphor by Dustin Pickering

Zaphor’s Lament

Tonight my body shivers in cold ecstasy.  Our triumph is nocturnal, and the dreary mood weighs heavy on my formlessness.  I lay on this bed with my body, a red and gray placenta cascading from my legs to my feet.  The day shall come.  The day shall come.  I will spend my fortitude in nights, black with angelic satin over my face.  I hold you, my dear lover, in the nearest of embraces of my mind.  We must connect with this crimson dolor.  I need you, o Dancy.  Your little eyes wicked as a difference.  The soft hold of femininity.  I must ask you tonight, are you mine?  Do you know the answer? 

Hold my womb.  Let your hair grow long like a grief so true.  I will cling to you, o Dancy.  This lament rings soft to the bitter heavens I so anticipate.

Dancy:  I know your pain, my sweet angel.  Hold me with a tenderness and love you have never known.

Zaphor’s Gratitude

I do not see the necessity of demanding impossible faith.  The stone of my children’s cries holds within me like the water in a drowning pool.  I never knew why they died so soon.  Yet my life continues forward, like a deer prancing in front of a car.  Naturally, I am surprised at being alive.

Dancy:  Yet here I await you, dear one.  My treasure is light and water.

Zaphor’s Choices

I do not believe in stepping on other people when they help you.  I cannot decide between aloneness and generosity.  I want to give, yet it hurts me so.  Doing is forgetting.  The memories of my grief are always with me.

Dancy:  I am brave in my tears as I wipe the slate clean.  Your worries are forgotten.

Zaphor’s Truth

I always knew only one thing.  The wells are inexhaustible.  I am still reluctant to take what isn’t mine.  My eyes are filled with visions and experience.

Dancy:  You are so beautiful.  Your soft glow and luminous gift of healing.  I could never ask for anything more.  Just be tender, and touch me.

Zaphor’s Touch

I touch you with such distaste.  What I do is wrong.  I feel the fear run through my body, my spine, and my face cringes at this kiss.  What I do is wrong. 

Dancy:  I am neither golden nor silver.  I am only warm and human.  You cannot forsake me now, at this moment.  The light is our path.  Darkness shadows the gate to our youth.  What is past is behind us now.  Forget.  Forget.

Zaphor’s Silence

There is nothing more to say.  I cannot weep; my tears are welling in my eyes.  I still am silent as the sun glows in the West.  The harmony of time fills the void with bright love.

Dancy:  I am neither the gift nor the giver.  Remember, this is the way to charity.  Through the briefly swinging iron gates are the eyes I could never find.

Zaphor’s Friendship

I never knew you were so close to me in this wake.  As death came ever closer, and began to chant, I stood on the balcony waiting for my final breath.  I enter you as night enters a star, perplexed and alarmed at sudden silence. 

Dancy:  I am the mother of your dream.  I tilt the cradle gently as if weeping.

Zaphor’s War

I knew the softness could define the edge of steel.  I brought the blade close to my breast and decided against it.  The entanglement of distress is come.  My war is within my heart, never, never, does this germination wear off.  I am a seed in the harvesting of light, a dark illusion in the grave.

Dancy:  They want you because you are true.  Your eyes tell every secret.

Zaphor’s Gradation

I shift like a lover’s attraction.  I am too close to home to be reminded of these wars.  I see the distress is farther than my hope, and my hope will not bring the war to ruins.  The ruins will close the eternal struggle.  I am forever seeking a new way.

Dancy:  The newest truth will salvage the waters of hope.  Our wells are not dry, and the earth is as eternal as the sun.

Zaphor’s Final Dirge

I am a brief moment in time, eclipsed by sorrows the world never knew before me.  I have brought guilt upon this race, a suffering star in the darkest agony.  I cannot see the nature of truth through thick honey.  I shall pass, I am the passing bell as it tolls.  The lightning strikes in the womb to birth one thousand destinies.  It is a turn in tides. 

Dancy:  I only ask that you suffer with me, and stay until I die.  The years are passing in cold oblivion and I am only dishonored by your winter.  The old fortress from which we falter is a dream we will never recover.  I shall never live again.



5 comments on “Zaphor by Dustin Pickering

  1. This reads like an antiphonal – it feels as though it may be based on the structure of Song of Songs. I like the way the two voices begin to merge, building to a resolution.


  2. I like it very much. I can read it as a biblical parody and also as the dialogues of two humans, who are so similiar and so different from each other, or part of the same human race.


    • It is intended to show how persecution of gays leads them to desperate hurt. The entire piece was written so people know exactly how I feel on this subject. I am tired of the hate and self-centeredness in the name of Jesus.


  3. This is captivating. I love the dialogue very deep and profound you are like Gibran in the Prophet and like Dante’s Inferno too great job.Excellent language and a stunning tour de force of philosophical insight .(Gideon Cecil Poet,Editor,Critic)


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